Over the years, I've been through so much. Now, I know what you're thinking. Being through something sounds negative, tough, difficult, etc... Nevertheless, there are also the good sides of my life too. I'm not here to narrate the story of my life, however, I want to use this medium to share some thoughts on some lessons I have learnt in my path.
1. Life is not a bed of roses. This idiom I first came in contact with at fourth grade I never knew would form a major part of my understanding of life in itself. A lot of things happen to people that make them want to quit, give up, commit suicide, etc. but I guess the problem stems from the fact that when people aren't well oriented on how to deal with difficult times, they tend to fall apart in times of despair. That expression simply connotes that, difficult times will surely come. You've got to be ready to deal with them. This brings us to the question, "how do we prepare for dread?"
2. Prepare to fail forward. This mentality has helped me to scale through at the most difficult points in my life, be it a failed relationship, or project, a job interview, etc. I always find the good side of every hurting circumstance. Let’s take a job interview as an example, once, I went in there and came out feeling frustrated at the level of rejection depicted by the interviewer. In this case, she blatantly told me, “you’re not up to our standard, you don’t come across as intelligent.” At first I felt terrible., but after giving it some reasonable thought, I told myself the truth that I know, which is that I am intelligent and the only reason I’m not working in that organization is because God has better plans for me. And there, I dropped all the hurt and pain in anticipation for a better job and day. Indeed it did come.
Failing forward is all about seeing failure from the optimistic point of view. It is about understanding the need to ‘dust yourself up and try again” according Aliyah . It is realizing that when you accept failure as an opportunity to do something different or extraordinary…then, there really isn’t such a thing as failure for you.
3. Don’t live each day like it’s your last. As much as I agree to the report of that phrase in a positive light, that is, 'live each day like it’s your last’, I agree to disagree. I say, “Live each day with hope. The moment you stop hoping, life becomes meaningless." Even if you live for a hundred years more, if all those years were filled with hopelessness, they’ll be miserable days. So live in anticipation for another better day ahead. That’s how I live.
4. My best friend isn’t a human being. Yes. So many times we hear people say stuff like, “They are BFFs.” “She is my BFF.’ Lols. If you’ve been there and done all that, you’ll surely know that there is nothing like that. This is because of obvious reasons. Your best friend has another best friend who has another best friend and the list goes on. You share your secrets with a friend who shares with another friend. So, this observation over time made me realize that my deepest secrets, as much as it may be tempting to share are best kept to myself and best shared with only one person: the Holy Spirit. He is the only one who doesn’t talk about me behind my back or do some back-stabbing unforgivable thing to me. He is the one that comforts me and counsels me in times of despair without talking me down or making me feel less of who I am, He is my BFF.
5. With patience and determination, you can achieve anything (that is possible). There is a reason I put ‘that is possible’ in bracket. Some people have a tendency to misread ones point of view. When I say you can achieve anything, I don’t mean that if as a child you always wished you could grow wings and fly, that with patients and determination one day, you’ll actually grow wings and fly. No no no no! It means that, if you really want something that is realistic, irrespective of what people say, the society you grew up in, the financial stratus of your folks, and other forms of limitation, with patience (perseverance) and determination, you’ll get there. You’ll achieve your goals if you don’t quit or give up or stop hoping. Holding is the key.