7 Things You Shouldn't Do Immediately After A Break-Up


Disclaimer: This post applies to both male and female. however, I will be addressing mostly ladies because I am one. 

1. Trying to get in touch emotionally, with the one who broke your heart.
Except it is for official reasons, I think it is best you stay away from them. I know, some people are more emotional than others, some find it quite easy to disconnect, while others like to do the whole, "I want closure". That stuff is a trap! The only closure you need is the one you got when both of you, or one of you decided it was over! If you need emotional support, please lean on people who truly care about you, like family and real friends. By calling and trying to reach the other party and asking questions like, "What did I do?" "Why did you stop loving me?", etc. the person may not pick, then you will feel more desperate and it can even lower your self-esteem and make you feel worse... worthless!
So just stay away!
2. Jumping into another relationship.
I feel terrible for people who are so needy and can't be by themselves for a while. First of all, the dangers are just obvious. You may just be having a rebound without knowing it. In other wards, you may think you are in love, but you are not. Worse is, thinking this new person, who is filling this sudden void created by your ex is in love with you, when they are merely taking advantage of your emotional instability.

It is also more dangerous if you have kids. In my opinion, your kids need to also heal and get over your Ex's absence before you start introducing someone else in their lives. you also need to study that person, to avoid putting your kids at risk. Need I say more?
3. If you can help it, abstain from Sex.
Be it casual sex or intimate sex, I think anyone willing to jump in bed with you as soon as you broke up with someone is just mischievous and do not have good intentions for you. That's just my opinion, I could be wrong though. Nevertheless, research has proved that it doesn't make you feel any better. If the goal was revenge, you may end up feeling worse. More so, I don't think I need to talk about the dangers of casual sex with people you know or don't know.
4. Calling them out on social media. 
I mean specifically calling them out, tagging them, tagging their friends to tag them, etc. I think it is too dramatic and childish. yes, it is okay to declare you are single, who knows, a secret admirer might be lurking in the corner, but do not start throwing insults and abusive words or threats on that person.

I know it hurts. I have been there. It is also very tempting too, but do not give in. If possible, just delete your social media apps from your gadgets, just to avoid the temptation to type and post.
5. Don't threaten them with the kids.
If you are a single mom/dad, except s/he is a psychopath who could endanger his/her children's lives, don't threaten him/her with not seeing the kids. Firstly, it is morally wrong and unfair, especially when the other party is genuinely interested in being part of that child's life. Secondly, except you  are financially buoyant, you can hardly bear the burden alone. there are also the social and emotional needs to be fulfilled by both parents. So threatening the other party with "You can't see the kids." is just a NO NO!
6. Stop telling men who are asking you out about your ex especially when you are still getting to know each other.
UUUUhhmmmm. This may seem unrealistic, but the truth is, at this stage, he is probably the first thing on your mind when a guy approaches you, so before you know it, you are telling a stranger who may not give a shit about you your life story. they may use it against you... very dangerous. Not everyone wants to love you better.... those type of people are one in a million.
7. Running back into the arms of an ex.
This may prove quite difficult, especially if this 'ex' is still very caring and single. I mean, this is someone you used to love, or possibly still love, except you are no longer together... it is soooo much easier to go back to him, especially if he is offering. But then, you need to step back and ask yourself, 

How far can we go?
Won't I come across as desperate?
Of what use is this affiliation going to be to me, aside immediate emotional or sexual satisfaction?

Don't even consider it if he is married!

In the end, what matters most to you? really.

If it is healing, being stronger and getting back on your feet, then the last thing is going back to an ex immediately after a break-up.
On a final note, I'd say, if you are a stronger human being like me, you can give yourself at least one year before "putting yourself out there." Especially if it was a broken marriage. However, if you people were just dating... yes it is JUST dating, even if you guys dated for 10 years.... please, move on already as soon as you can. Especially if the 'ex' isn't worth it.
In conclusion, you healing is most important, so you don't carry the hurt of your past into a new relationship. It may not be easy, but try to treat each individual differently based on who they are, not who your ex was.

I'm wearing: Accessories from Bombshelaa, Silk Blouse by TuFashions (similar), Pants Thrifted, Bag Thrifted (similar) and Shoe Calvin Klein (similar).

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I hope this post was helpful. If you think so, don't forget to leave me your thoughts and share with friends.

Cheers!